i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
