im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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