I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
