Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
