it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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