Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Congratulations! We have a period
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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