Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
