her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
