Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
