I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
