No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish you could order shots online.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My vagina just clenched in fear
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
