There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
