the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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