Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
