it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
