They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize