Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
false alarm, still single
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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