Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
