i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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