It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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