So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
