next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
