11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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