you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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