He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
