the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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