Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
