Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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