I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
