I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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