you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
