she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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