I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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