Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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