The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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