The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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