white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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