You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
