I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
