I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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