Someone shit on the floor
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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