so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
