It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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