It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
