just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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