Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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