I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
