my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it's great music for shaving your balls
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
