I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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