Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
