we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
