if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
