Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
