he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
