and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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