so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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