Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't turn off my feet"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
