If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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