My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize