Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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