I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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