we have officially lost it.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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