Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
